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Things that I have noticed since regaining my sense of smell :

• All taxis smell like cat pee.*
• Most New York City streets smell like dog pee.  The others, that do not, smell like rotting trash.
• The entire population of the universe wears too much cologne and/or perfume.
• Everything should smell like coconut.

*Except for the taxi I rode home in from work tonight.  It was heavy with rubbing alcohol, which I can only assume was used to mask the cat pee.

To celebrate the Return of the Sense, I’m going to brave the bridge into Brooklyn and pillage I Hate Perfume.

I will not wear too much of it, and probably will not wind up smelling like coconut.

Dear B&J,

I understand the meaning of the words “Limited Batch” printed on pints of Key Lime Pie ice cream, but refuse to believe them.  In fear that you shall soon deny me of my new meaning of life, I’m tempted to buy out the stock of this magic fatty euphoric treat.

I pray to you, Patron Saints of Shame Eating, to keep all freezers I frequent full of this delicious frozen limey desert.

All of my Fats Belong to You,

Samantha

Yesterday, the Mister took me on a series of adventures, some of which shall now become frequent haunts of mine.  First of the lot was a visit to a tiny and amazing Ramen bar that I cannot wait to return to.  Broth so spicy that I actually broke a sweat while eating, but could not stop!  I feel like I hadn’t truly lived before eating a sliced avocado that had soaked in soy sauce and super hot vegetarian broth.

Ramen really is what comfort food is all about.  We left the bar with bellies full of spicy broth and noodles, without that hideous bloat that goes along with American food.

So.Very.Delicious.

After Adventures in Ramening, there was a terrifying walk through Times Square to make our way to see Inception.  It totally lived up the enormous hype that has been built around it, which I wasn’t expecting.  Have you seen it?  What did you think?

Next in Adventureland was a visit to a basement level surf bar that smelled like coconut and tanning oil.  It was too dark to get any decent photos, but the postcard that was paperclipped to our check sums it up nicely.  I have big plans to spend an afternoon tasting every Freezy Boozy Fruity drink on their menu next month when Courtney Riot comes to visit.

In other news, Operation Quit Smoking has been going smashingly.

I have moved onto Phase Three of my master plan, and the techo-smoke is working like magic.  After spending about a week doing about a 50 / 50 split between real cigarettes and “vaping”, I had my last Camel about a day and a half ago.  I’ve exclusively been using the Njoy since, and haven’t had any of the usual freak outs that accompany quitting.

I’ve tried almost every quitting aide on the market, and so far, this is the only one that hasn’t made me physically ill and still allows me to mimic the actual ritual of having a cigarette, sans having to carry around a lighter.  Keep your fingers crossed for me, friends!

For my birthday, the Mister bought me an amazing sewing machine, which then took me two months to take out of the box.  Finally, this past weekend, I opened it up and figured it out (with the help of Chloe via iChat video and speaker phone).  I’ve started on a very industrious first project, which once I’ve figured out exactly what’s going on with it, I’ll share with the lot of you.  I’m hoping that by winter, I’m a master seamstress and badass designer.  Practice, practice, practice.

Coffee & Cigarettes, you go hand in hand.  I’m getting rid of the latter in my ten billionth attempt to quit.  Smokes are up to $12 a pack in NYC!  $12!

I’ve tried nearly everything to quit smoking in the past – the patch, the gum, cold turkey, weening myself off – and none of it has worked.  This time around, we’re taking baby steps.

• Phase One : No more smoking in the house!  We’re currently on Day 3 of this, and without even realizing it, are smoking nearly half of what I normally would.
• Phase Two : Clean out the debris.  Yesterday, I put away the ashtrays, clean the living hell out of the house, and did my best to deodorize everything.  Leaving bowls of distilled white vinegar out overnight helped freshen the air up a lot.
• Phase Three : NJOY!  I am currently sitting here waiting for UPS to arrive with the electronic cigarettes I ordered last week.  The plan is to substitute regular cigarettes with these, and then work my way down to using no nicotine cartridges.  If all goes according to plan, I’ll still be preforming the habitual acts, without any of the addictive elements, so that I can break the physical and mental addictions separately.
• Phase Four : Get the fuck in shape.

Wish me luck, comrades, and if you’ve successfully quit in the past, tell me what’s worked for you!